At times I feel crazy. Other times I feel perfectly clear and have a hard time understanding how others do not see things my way, especially when I can produce receipts and results. I think about the changes I have made and am making. I think about the sacrifices and specifically the relationships that have gone up in smoke. I try to stave off concern. I try to remain focused and I am mostly successful in that. But sometimes I find myself worrying about others, their success and their progress. I’ve always been this way—wanting to contribute to my friends’ success and help their dreams come true.
It can be very difficult to see oneself. I know that some of my actions and reactions are confusing for others and that some people may even feel hurt or relieved when I suddenly disappear. I only know that I don’t do things from a dark or vicious space, and that my intention at this time is to progress on my own path. It is very difficult to inspire and motivate others to work on their dreams when you are stuck in the same mess with them. I have noticed that as I’ve become silent and started working diligently on my own things that old friends are finally starting to take action. Thank God, because they have so much to offer.
I started my business in October 2019 (Scorpio GANG GANG!) and around the same time I began to distance myself from anyone who was displaying characteristics I did not desire to embody. I don’t fuck with laziness, vindictiveness, excuses, gossip, or distractions and cannot stomach them long-term. I cannot stand talking about the same problems and situations ad nauseam—I am a problem-solver, not a person who talks about problems. I don’t even discuss my own “problems,” I simply get busy formulating a plan to solve them.
I cut off friends who didn’t appreciate me, friends who were wasting my time and theirs, friends with nothing but poor choices and excuses. I had to distance myself because success in large part is due to the people we associate with, the minds we align ourselves with. Others may not agree, they may consider this self-protectiveness to be highly insensitive and harsh. But, I am telling you that since I stopped answering certain calls, since I blocked certain people I have more time to create and have earned more money and helped more people in such a short time than I have in years. I’ve also been able to make my own goals a reality with greater ease. All I am seeing is growth.
I don’t feel lonely, I feel on fire and excited. My life feels fuller and happier. My work feels more satisfying, because I have to tell you nothing dampens the spirits more than sharing your success with people who are not excited about it. I shared my recent wins and ideas with a past friend and she sent back a video from Gary V about “Fake Entrepreneurs,” like a real hater. But, me being me, I saw the underlying disrespect but used that same video to get coaching clients. I made $500 off of that, by posting the video on my timeline and telling other entrepreneurs that I could help them become the real deal.
Being an entrepreneur is like being an alien among humans or a magician among muggles. You’re weird. You think differently, see things differently, and have options others can’t even imagine for themselves. You have to continue to believe that you are capable and free and that amazing things are possible for you whether others believe it too or not.
It feels crazy to ditch a job, work more (maybe get paid more too, but sometimes less), let go of friends you’ve had for more than a decade, to make quick decisions and to progress regardless of fear, risk, unknown variables and other people’s emotions. But it will be the most fun you’ve ever had. I trust that new ones—the right ones will come along when it’s time. In the meantime, I have plenty of work to do to keep me focused and to continue propelling me forward.